


Red Stallion and the Buxom Pirate Princess

by ehvul_butterfly (summerbutterfly)



Series: The Best of Advent 2010 [3]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Advent 2010, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-14
Updated: 2010-12-14
Packaged: 2017-10-13 16:20:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/139264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerbutterfly/pseuds/ehvul_butterfly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rangiku adheres a little too closely to the adage "write what you know."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Red Stallion and the Buxom Pirate Princess

**Author's Note:**

  * For [2nds2disaster](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=2nds2disaster).



> For Day #6 of the Advent Challenge. Posted because I ship this pairing far harder than I should and I'm actually happy with the way this piece turned out.

He found her where he expected to find her, in her office surrounded by stacks of papers. There was a typewriter in front of her, and next to it a box labeled “submissions.” The room was filled with the clickity-clack of typewriter keys and the typist, Rangiku, was cheerful humming as she transcribed what he could only imagine was the next installment of the Seireitei’s latest literary obsession.

“Ran?” He rapped his knuckles against the doorframe to get her attention.

Rangiku looked up, face breaking into an enormous smile. “Renji! What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you.” Renji rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. “Are you busy?”

“Not with anything that can’t wait.” She gestured toward the empty chair opposite her. “Come in! Sit down. Chat with me.”

“Thanks.” Renji accepted the vacant chair.

Rangiku looked at him across the desk, lips curved in a teasing smirk. “So what can I do for you, Lieutenant Abarai? I hardly ever see you in the daytime these days.”

Renji felt himself blush. Hard. “Yeah, that’s kind of why I’m here.”

Rangiku’s blue eyes widened and her lower lip quivered. “You’re not breaking things off, are you??”

“No! No. I...” His face felt like it was on fire. “It’s actually about your story in the _Shinigami Women’s Romance Digest_.”

“Oh!” Rangiku seemed delighted by this. “I didn’t know you read the Digest.”

“I did after Yumichika gave it to me.”

“What did you think? Did you like it?”

“Um...” His eyes strayed over to the printing press in the corner of the room. The one he knew used to be Shuuhei’s until he and Rangiku had a falling out and she walked off with it to start the Digest. “It’s not that I _dis_ like it.”

Rangiku raised an eyebrow. “But?”

Renji shifted. “But...I think...it might be a little obvious who you’re writing about.”

“So? What’s wrong with that?”  
“Ran...” What was wrong with that was too long a list for one afternoon, so he started with the worst. “Kuchiki Taicho made a comment to me yesterday. In front of the whole squad.”

“What?” Rangiku’s eyes went wide. “Are you telling me Kuchiki Taicho reads the Digest, too?”

“No. Maybe. I don’t know. But I _do_ know that if Kuchiki Taicho knows, then the entire Seireitei knows.”

“About Red Stallion?”

“Er...yeah.”

Rangiku rested her chin on the palm of her hand. “I fail to see the problem,” she said. “You’re a very dynamic lover, Renji. It only makes sense I base my romantic hero on you.”

“Yes but...” Renji shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I don’t know if I _want_ everyone knowing.”

“Are you ashamed of me?” Rangiku’s lips slipped into a pout, and Renji was instantly contrite, having no immunity to a pouty Rangiku.

“Of course not,” he said. “It’s just...I mean...Ikkaku _whinnied_ at me this morning, and Yumi won’t stop singing some song about brick houses, and Iba’s making kissy faces and Shuuhei won’t stop crying...”

“Eh.” Rangiku waved her free hand dismissively. “That’s because I turned them all down. It’s jealousy.”

“It’s making work very difficult.”

Rangiku raised an eyebrow. “Poor Red Stallion. He’s finding out what work is like for the Buxom Pirate Princess every day. At least your friends still look you in the eye when you talk to them.”

Her comment made Renji feel even worse. “Look, Rangiku, I’m not mad you used me as your...model. And I don’t want to stop seeing you. It’s just...I’m not used to people knowing so much about me. Especially not my private life. It feels...weird.”

“Ugh, Renji, you really need to learn to relax more.” Rangiku picked up the typewriter and set it on the floor beside her. The submission box she set on top of it so she could crawl across the desk into his lap. “So what if the jealous idiots make fun of you. In the end, you’re still getting what they never will, right?”

“Um, right?”

“There you go.” Eyes shining with a devious glint, Rangiku ran a finger down his chest. “By the way, since you’re here, I feel like I should do a little fact-finding for my next chapter.”

Leaning back she pushed her uniform off her shoulders, exposing herself from the waist up. Renji licked dry lips. By all the heavens she was gorgeous, and he couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to touch that petal-soft skin...

*****

 _“....and so Red Stallion and the Buxom Pirate Princess sailed off into the sunset, the air cooling the sweat on their naked skin. The world looked on from the shore, but Red and the Princess did not care. Their love and their bodies were things of beauty. Something the jealous, ugly eel men on the docks would never understand. The End.”_

Yumichika set the paper down. The rest of the men in the room were silent, looking at each other with unsure glances.

Yumichika folded his arms. “Well, I know one thing,” he said, “and that is that I am NOT an ‘ugly eel man’.” He flipped his hair over his shoulder. “Kuku, go get us a typewriter. We have work to do.”


End file.
